Yachiru's Halloween
by espeon16
Summary: It's Halloween! Yachiru decides to follow the popular human custom, and storms sereitei demanding for candy.
1. prolgue

Hey! This is my first try at writing a fanfic. Please read and review!

"Ken-chan."

"Go away, Yachiru. You're messing up my hair."

"KEN-CHANNNNNN!!"

"What?"

"It's the 31st of October!"

"So…?"

"It's Halloween!"

"What's that?"

"It's a human festival where the humans dress up in spooky costumes and go around demanding candy from adults!"

"So…?"

"Let's have a Halloween party too!"

"But…We're not humans."

"I don't care! I want the candy!"

"Then why don't you go get the candy by yourself?"

"I need you to threaten the people who won't give me candy."

"No freakin' way! Get Ikkaku or someone else to do it!"

"But…Ken-chan! Baldy-head doesn't look as threatening as you do!"

Zaraki Kenpachi tried valiantly to think or some random excuse as to why he couldn't accompany Yachiru, but to no avail.

Ten minutes later, a very disgruntled-looking Frankenstein left the 11th division headquarters, zanpakutou by his side and a tiny pink-haired fairy on his back.


	2. barney and the marshmallows

At approximately 10 minutes to 8pm, two figures arrived at the 1st division headquarters.

"Ready, Ken-chan?"

"For the last time, Yachiru, if you wanna get candy out of the soutaichou, I am NOT involved. There is no way I am going to put my career on the line for some weird human festival. Got it?"

"AWW Ken-chan! You're SO boring!"

Leaving Kenpachi outside, Yachiru stuck her head into the open window of Yamamoto-soutaichou's office.

"TRICK OR TREAT, YAMA-JII!!!"

The bearded old man in the study was so startled by the sudden appearance of a pink-haired fairy in his office, he couldn't answer until the fairy began prodding him, shrieking "YAMA-JII! ANSWER MEEEE!"

"What...do you mean by 'trick or treat', Kusajishi-fukutaichou?"

"Simple! It means if you don't give me candy, I will tell all of Sereitei that I caught you hugging a poster of that weird purple dinosaur thing. What's it called? OH YEAH! BARNEY! That's it!"

"Butbutbut..."

"No buts, Yama-jii! Hand over the candy OR ELSE!"

With a resigned sigh, Yamamoto-soutaichou rummaged around in his private candy stash.

"Here. Take it and LEAVE!"

A jumbo pack of marshmallows almost as big as Yachiru herself came flying out of nowhere to land on Yachiru's face.

"YEA! THANKYOUTHANKYOU YAMA-JII!"

The tiny pink-haired fairy jumped out the window onto the head of an eavesdropping Frankenstein.

"So...that's it? All you do is threaten him with that Barney thing and he will do whatever he wants? I SO have got to try that."

"Whatever Ken-chan!"

"Now can we go back?"

"NO! We have to ask all the divisions Ken-chan!"

Kenpachi sighed. This was going to be a long night.

Please review!

I shall update soon, but only if you review!


	3. the guardian angel of paperwork

Third installment of Yachiru's Halloween is up!

Following a suggestion, I have tried valiantly to make my chapters longer, so if it is still too short, forgive me, okay? I am not very used to writing long stories.

Thank you to those who have reviewed my story! If you have yet to review, please, no flaming. ...............................................................................................................................................................................................

"We go to ALL the divisions?!"

"Mmhmm. Well, except our division, 'cuz Yumi-chan says sweets make her look ugly."

"Then why do you still eat them by the truckload everyday?"

"AWW Ken-chan! You're just trying to avoid going around trick-or-treating, aren't you?

"So what if I am?"

"AWW, Please? Pretty pretty please with a cherry on top?"

Kenpachi sighed.

"I am NOT falling for that puppy-dog look!"

"But Ken-chan! You fell for it the previous 163846594732 times!

"Which is why I am not going to fall for it 163846594733 times."

-a prolonged pause-

"All right, all right! I GIVE IN!"

"YAY KEN-CHAN!"

"So...who are you going to bully next?"

"It's not BULLYING, Ken-chan! It's trick-or-treating!"

"Whatever. Who next?"

"Bee-woman!"

"Soifon-taichou?"

"Yupyup!"

...............................................................................................................................................................................................

Soi Fon looked at the two costumed figures outside the door.

"You say that it's Hallo...ween?"

"Yupyup!"

"What's that?"

"Simply put, it's a day when humans are allowed to demand candy from other humans."

"So...you have come to demand candy from me?"

"Yup!"

"And...what if I don't give you candy?"

"Ken-chan will persuade you to with his zanpakutou!"

Soi Fon sighed. She had just finished training, which meant that she was in no mood at all to fight an unseated officer, let alone Zaraki Kenpachi, captain of the 11th division. There was only one solution.

"Fine. I'll give you candy. On one condition."

Yachiru was already drooling at the thought of candy.

"I'll do anything for candy!"

"Okay. I want you to make my useless lieutenant stop eating crackers 24/7 and do his paperwork."

"That's it?"

"Yup."

"OKAY! Hand over the candy and I'll do it!"

"No. I want to hear my useless lieutenant scream first, before I give you candy."

"AWW Bee-woman, you're SO MEAN!"

"Whatever. Do you need any supplies?"

"I need you to write a letter to Fatso-chan."

So Yachiru dictated, and Soi Fon wrote a short but threatening letter that should ensure that Oomaeda would never ever neglect his paperwork again.

...............................................................................................................................................................................................

Oomaeda was stoning in his room, as usual, eating rice crackers.

The door flew open.

"HEY FATSO-CHANNNN!"

In the doorway stood a pink-haired fairy, which promptly jumped up and bit Oomaeda on the head.

'YEOWCHHHHH! Let go of me! Let go!"

As Oomaeda whirled around in a haze of excruciating pain (Yachiru's teeth are sharp), he failed to notice a greenish arm (Kenpachi's) reach in and swipe all the crackers on his table.

When Yachiru finally did let go, she landed on his desk, stuck out her tongue, flung a piece of paper into his face, and jumped out of the window.

The letter ran thus:

_To the vice-captain of the second division:_

_I have observed that you never hand in your paperwork on time. _

_However, this must change._

_If you ever want to see your crackers again, you will report to your captain at 20 00 sharp and do as she says._

_Do not think you can pretend not to follow her orders, for I know EXACTLY what she has planned for you. _

_Let me just say that it involves a lot of paperwork._

_The fate of your crackers depends on you._

_Sincerely, _

_The Guardian Angel of Paperwork_

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Soi Fon leaned back in her chair with a satisfied smirk at the sound of an anguished howl that came from the direction of Oomaeda's quarters.

Suddenly, she was assaulted by a pink-haired fairy.

"HEYS BEE-WOMAN!"

"Yes?"

"Can I keep Fatso-chan's crackers?"

"Hmm...I don't see why not."

"YAY! Oh, and Bee-woman?"

"Yes?"

"I want my candy. Now."

Soi Fon rolled her eyes. She reached into her drawer, pulled out a box, aimed, and threw.

A box of slightly melted butterfly chocolates sailed through the air, narrowly missing its intended target (Yachiru) and whacked Kenpachi on the face.

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There! End of chapter.

It's very crappy. I know, and I'm sorry.

I will probably do fifth division next, suggestions are welcome!


	4. ancient lollies

**Disclaimer**: I do not own Bleach. However, I do have, in my possession, a rather empty bottle of bleach.

Hi!

This is the next chapter of Yachiru's Halloween!

Before I start, I would like to clarify a few doubts.

1. I called Yumichika 'Yumi-chan'. After doing so, I received a few reviews about it. So I shall say once and for all. I know Yumichika is a male. My sensei says that 'chan' can be applied to cute people as well. But to avoid further confusion, I shall refer to Yumichika as 'Tweety' from now on. (It's 'Tweety' because Tweety Bird has that weird feathery thingy on top of its head, rather like that white thingy on Yumichika's head.)

2. I was also asked why I decided to do the 5th division next. I decided that if I did the divisions in order, it would be quite boring, so I am doing them in random order.

That's about it, keep the reviews coming!

Also, I would like to clarify that this particular fanfic takes place after Aizen left for Hueco Mundo, okay?

Yachiru's Halloween: chapter 4

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"Momo-channnnnnn!! Come out, come out, wherever you are!"

A very grumpy Hinamori opened the door of her office, saving it from the fate of being beaten up by an impatient Yachiru.

"Kusajishi-san! PLEASE, for heaven's sake! Do NOT whack the door like that!"

"Aww, why not?"

"BECAUSE, I got this door as a birthday present from Rangiku-san to replace my previous door!"

"But WHY?"

"Because the previous door was Aizen-taichou's favourite. And I am doing my best to get rid of all traces of him."

"Oh..."

"But that's beside the point. What are YOU doing out here at night, trying to break my precious door into smithereens?"

"I want candy. Lots and lots and lots of it."

"...Why?? You KNOW that candy makes you HYPER."

"It's Halloween!"

"Let me guess. It's some weird festival related to candy?"

"Uh-huh. The rules are really simple. You give me candy, or Ken-chan will slice you to bits!"

Hinamori looked aghast.

"So...basically I have no choice but to surrender the candy."

Yachiru nodded vigorously.

"Okay. You wait here while I get the candy. But if I catch you breaking down my door again, no candy for you. Got it?"

More nods.

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**A long, long, long wait later**

"Ken-chan..."

The Frankenstein sitting on the ground massaging his cramped legs due to standing for too long gave a non-committal grunt.

"Why is Momo-chan taking so long?"

"How should **I** know?"

Yachiru's patience finally snapped. She crept to Hinamori's open window and stuck her head in.

"MOMO-CHAN! You TRICKED me!"

"..."

"You were supposed to give me CANDY, Momo-chan, not do PAPERWORK!"

"Oops!" Hinamori gave Yachiru her best I-am-an-innocent-little-girl look. "Did I forget to tell you that I wanted to finish my paperwork BEFORE giving you candy?"

Yachiru pouted.

"Come on, Momo-chan! You've got so much paperwork because Glasses-san ran away!"

Hinamori frowned slightly at the mention of her ex-taichou's name, or rather, nickname.

"Don't worry, Kusajishi-san," Hinamori told Yachiru in the sort of voice usually used by nurses working at a mental institution. "All I have left are those twenty-something piles of paperwork, and then I'm done!"

Yachiru stared at the paperwork for about a second before she yelled back an indignant response.

"NO FAIR! Each pile is TALLER than Ken-chan! I want candy NOW!"

"If I give you the candy now, will you shut up and go away?"

Yachiru considered this for a moment.

"Are you sure you don't wanna come along? You could get candy too!"

"No I do NOT."

Yachiru stuck out her tongue.

"Fine. Hand over the candy then."

Hinamori rummaged around in her desk drawer, and discovered a lollipop. She wiped the lollipop, hoping that Yachiru would be happy enough not to notice the cobwebs and the production date.

"Here."

Hinamori thrust the lollipop into Yachiru's face with such force that she tumbled off the windowsill and cannonballed into Kenpachi.

Yachiru stared at Hinamori's window, which had very recently been slammed shut. She moved her gaze to the lollipop.

A few seconds later, a yell reverberated throughout Sereitei.

"MOMO-CHANNNNN! If my lolly was produced on 24th November 1785, is it edible?"

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There! All done! Hope ya enjoyed it.

I am considering 7th division next, please review with suggestions! If you don't, I will either churn out a rather boring chapter, or omit it altogether.

-espeon16 T.T"


	5. the ominous permament marker

Hello! Another installment of Yachiru's Halloween!

I was bored, so here is the next chapter! Thank you to Rachel Noelle and ARCtheElite for reviewing and giving suggestions!

I don't know much about Komamura, and virtually nothing about his fukutaichou. (Is his name Iba? I think it is.) So, if Komamura seems out of character, sorry.

Please continue reviewing, CONSTRUCTIVE criticism allowed. No flaming. Please. :)

Disclaimer: I do NOT own Bleach.

...............................................................................................................................................................................................

Two figures stood in the shadows outside the 7th division headquarters.

"You are going by yourself, Yachiru. Understood?"

"WHY????"

"BECAUSE, Komamura-taichou is one of those few who would choose the 'pick-a-fight-with-Kenpachi option."

"So...Ken-chan is scared?"

"I am NOT scared! Just...just...erm...worried! Yeah, that's it! Worried!"

Yachiru pouted.

"It's about the same, Ken-chan!"

"Whatever."

"You're just lazy!"

"This whole candy idea was YOURS, wasn't it? Why don't you try something threatening yourself? My legs are still cramped from that long wait outside Hinamori-fukutaichou's quarters."

"Okay, okay!"

Yachiru pouted, then stomped up to the doors and kicked them open. (They weren't locked.)

Yachiru stopped dead in her tracks.

"Ku...Kusajishi-san?"

Komamura looked up from his tea party, stunned.

"HEYYY FOX-HEAD! Why are you having a tea party without anyone else?"

"I AM having it with someone else! See?"

Komamura gestured violently towards a teddy bear that looked like it needed surgery, or possibly an amputation, to treat its limbs.

Yachiru's mouth hung open.

"Aww, Fox-head! You are SOOOO childish!"

Komamura muttered something inaudible, and reached for his zanpakutou.

"Fox-head, are you gonna fight me?"

"If you don't get out, yes."

"Aww, isn't that mean, Fox-head?"

Yachiru suddenly whipped out a fat (permanent) marker and brandished it in the air with an evil look.

" 'Cuz if you attack me, I'LL DRAW ON YOUR FACE!"

Komamura stopped short.

"In case you haven't noticed, Kusajishi-san, there is no place on my face to draw on."

"Then...I'll just have to MAKE SOME!"

Yachiru leapt onto Komamura's head with a maniacal glint in her eye, and grabbed hold of his cheek fur.

Komamura was pissed now.

"OI! That HURTS, okay?"

Yachiru pouted.

"Gimme candy."

"Don't have any."

"CANDY! NOW!"

Komamura sighed.

"Will anything edible do?"

Yachiru considered this for a moment.

"You don't have candy?"

"Nope. But if I give you something that I love eating, will you leave me alone?"

A pause.

"Okay!"

Komamura bent down, reached a hand into the cupboard, and pulled out a slightly wrinkled shiny packet.

Yachiru caught the slightly smelly packet and stared at it.

"Ooh...shiny."

Komamura picked Yachiru up, and dumped her unceremoniously outside, slamming the doors shut.

In the dim half-light of the garden, Yachiru could barely make out the lettering on the packet.

"Barky Bites...all the flavour you could ever want in a biscuit! Kangaroo and Apples flavour. (1)"

Yachiru frowned.

"Sounds weird...but Fox-head said it was okay..."

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There! Another chapter done!

(1) Kangaroo and Apples is an ACTUAL dog food flavour, okay.

Next should be 4th division. I'll give you a hint: Yachiru doesn't get candy once again.

-espeon16


	6. panadol

Hey!

Next chapter of Yachiru's Halloween!

Disclaimer: I own Bleach. Yep, that's right. Also, just to have you know, my computer just crashed, and the sky is green.

...............................................................................................................................................................................................

"Ken-chan!"

A grunt.

"We're gonna do something you like!"

"Which is...?"

"Visit the 4th division!"

"Why would I like THAT?"

"Because if they refuse you get to beat them up, remember?"

"Huh? Oh yeah!"

...............................................................................................................................................................................................

Unohana tried not to act very surprised when a fairy clutching a bulging sack (Yachiru's been using a sack to hold her goodies. A really small one.) and a Frankenstein with a sword and a creepy smile crashed through the hospital ceiling.

She didn't exactly succeed.

"Hey Braidy-chan! You look like a goldfish!"

Unohana quickly closed her mouth.

"Kusajishi-fukutaichou! What did you do to my roof?"

"Aww...Braidy-chan! We didn't do anything!"

"Yeah sure. And ostriches can fly."

"They can, Braidy-chan?"

Yachiru had obviously missed out on the sarcasm in Unohana's tone.

"Of course not!"

"But you said that they could!"

"You missed the sarcasm there?"

Yachiru, wrapped up in the thought that Unohana might have lied to her, missed that statement.

"You LIED, Braidy-chan!"

"I most certainly did NOT!"

"Braidy-chan lied! Braidy-chan lied! Braidy-chan lied! Braidy-chan lied..."

Yachiru started a war-chant-like rhyme, complete with dance.

It took Unohana a great deal of effort to calm Yachiru down, but she did, eventually.

"Okay, never mind the roof. What are you doing here?"

Yachiru stated a single word.

"Candy."

"Pardon me?"

"Candy. Lots of it. And, if you aren't willing to give me any, Ken-chan will persuade you to."

Kenpachi lifted his sword with a menacing look. Unohana sighed.

"This is a HOSPITAL, Kusajishi-fukutaichou. Has it occurred to you that we do not have candy, especially in large quantities, in a hospital?"

Yachiru pouted, but before she could reply, Isane appeared at the doorway, helping Hanatarou carry a large cardboard box.

"Where would you like this, Unohana-taichou?"

"There, please."

The box was set down in front of Unohana, and Isane and Hanatarou, glad to be relieved of the heavy burden, left.

"Ooh...What's this, Braidy-chan?"

"Med-"

Yachiru interrupted with a squeal. She had opened the cardboard box.

"Braidy-chan, the picture on the box looks like sweets."

Unohana was about to reply that it was not candy, but a delivery of medicine, when it occurred to her that this might be the perfect way to get rid of Yachiru.

"I can give you some if you go away."

"Okay!"

Yachiru looked at the label on the small box of pills in her hand.

"P...A...N...A...D...O...L. Pana...doll. Panadol...Yay! I can pronounce it! Panadol! Panadol! Sounds DELICIOUS!"

Another sigh from Unohana.

"Yes, Kusajishi-fukutaichou, it's called Panadol."

Five minutes later, Yachiru had about ten boxes of Panadol in her sack.

"Bye Braidy-chan! Thanks for the candy!"

Unohana sighed.

"Thank goodness she's gone. I need a Panadol."

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Wow! Two chapters in one day! I hope this means more reviews!

I'll be going on a one-week break. If I come back and see less than 4 new reviews, I will withhold the new chapter until the number of reviews hits 20!

Next: The 6th division! And no, Yachiru won't get beaten up ny Senbon Zakura. She actually gets her candy!

Wanna read more? Then click that button below to review!

-espeon16


	7. question and answer

Hello!

This is the next chapter of Yachiru's Halloween!

I know that usually, Byakuya just gives Yachiru sweets, but this time it's different! I know some of you out there are going to expect Byakuya being beaten up or whatnot, but no. No beating up for this chapter. May be a bit out of character, but I hope I don't get too many complaints from this chapter.

So...without further ado.....Yachiru's Halloween chapter 7!

Disclaimer: I do NOT own Bleach. Characters are Tite Kubo's, and Byakuya's question comes from Douglas Adams.

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Kenpachi stopped at the gate of the Kuchiki manor.

"Are you sure about this?"

Yachiru, perched on his shoulder, nodded enthusiastically.

"This will be easy, Ken-chan! Bya-kun ALWAYS gives me sweets!"

Kenpachi stared at the manor, shrouded in shadow. He could faintly see a small figure banging on the door. The door opened, letting out a faint light. Kenpachi squinted. He couldn't really see what was going on, but he had a suspicion that whoever he was, the figure outside the manor was not about to be invited in for tea and cookies.

Suddenly, a screech broke the silence.

Kenpachi blinked.

Seconds later, a redheaded figure tore out the gate, and slammed right into Kenpachi.

Kenpachi blinked again.

It was Renji.

"Hey Pineapple-head!"

Renji stared at Yachiru.

"You are Yachiru?"

"Yup!"

Kenpachi cleared his throat.

"What happened to you?"

"Oh...erm...well, you see, I was going to ask Kuchiki-taichou if there was anymore paperwork I needed to do, or if I could go to sleep."

"WHAT?! Pineapple-head, you do PAPERWORK at 11pm at night?!"

"Yes, I do."

"Ahem. What happened after that?"

"Well...Kuchiki-taichou doesn't _exactly_ like being disturbed during his beauty sleep..."

"And so...?"

"He asked me this weird question, and told me that if I couldn't answer it by the time he counted to 10, he would run me through with his sword."

"Oh...what happened after that?"

"Well...obviously, I couldn't answer it, so I ran away before he could subject me to the doom of a thousand pink petals."

"Ah. I see."

Renji suddenly paled.

"You weren't thinking of looking for Kuchiki-taichou too, were you?"

Yachiru smiled her most winning smile.

"Of course we are!"

Renji was shocked.

'Well...good luck to you, then."

Kenpachi stared at the disappearing cloud of dust in the distance.

"Wow...that redhead really can run fast."

...............................................................................................................................................................................................

"Ken-chan, are you gonna space out all night?"

No response.

"Fine. I'll go visit Bya-kun WITHOUT you, then."

Yachiru pushed open the gates of the manor, confident that she would be given candy, leaving Kenpachi stoning on the ground.

...............................................................................................................................................................................................

"Bya-kun...come out!"

Yachiru knocked on the door of the Kuchiki manor.

The door creaked open.

"Kusajishi-fukutaichou. What are you doing outside my manor?"

"Gimme candy, Bya-kun!"

Byakuya, however, was obviously not in the mood to give candy to a hyper fairy that had woken him from his precious beauty sleep.

"Only if you answer this question."

"Okay!"

'What is the answer to Life, the Universe, and Everything?"

Byakuya smirked, confident that Yachiru would not be able to answer his question.

"I will count to 10. If you cannot answer it by then, I will release by zanpakutou and run you through."

Yachiru started thinking.

"1..."

"2..."

"3..."

"4..."

"5..."

"6..."

"7..."

"8..."

"9..."

"I'VE GOT THE ANSWER!"

Byakuya stopped counting.

"You...what?!"

"I said, Bya-kun, that I got the answer!"

"And...what is the answer?"

"Candy."

That single word sent Byakuya reeling.

"...Candy?!"

"Yup."

Byakuya sighed. It wasn't the correct answer, but since she WAS the only one able to answer that question....

'Fine. I'll give you candy."

10 minutes later, Yachiru bounced happily out the gates of Kuchiki manor, clutching a jumbo pack of MnM's.

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Yay! Done again!

Sorry if Byakuya seems a little out of character.

Next one is probably 10th division, though Matsumoto won't be in it. Ideas are welcome!

-espeon16

P.S. Can YOU answer Byakuya's question? The answer will be revealed in next chapter! (sQuIsHeDbRoCcOlLi, you are NOT allowed to answer this question, because you know the answer already.)


	8. paperweights and teabags

Hey!

I am so, so sorry for the long wait.

Wasn't allowed to use the computer for abt 3 weeks

So...anyways, the answer to Byakuya's question is 42, as the most recent reviewers have guessed.

And without further ado, I give you... Yachiru's Halloween, chapter 8!

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Hitsugaya Toshirou, captain of the tenth division, was not having a good day.

First, his good-for-nothing vice-captain Rangiku Matsumoto had decided to go out with her drinking pals for a party. (It was the 31st time that month.)

She had conveniently left her share of the paperwork untouched.

After that, the stupid pen refused to work for about half and hour.

And then, he discovered that the tea leaves were all gone, forcing him to use teabags instead. ( He HATED teabags.)

Then of course, to top off the entire fiasco of a day, Yachiru Kusajishi HAD to come calling.

What a day.

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"Ne Chibi-kun! Gimme candy!"

"Do NOT call me that."

"Gimme gimme candy!"

"You can stand there in the remains of what used to be a fine window, and ask me for CANDY???"

Yachiru pouted.

"Ne, ne, Chibi-kun! I didn't mean to break your window!"

Hitsugaya scowled.

"Shaddup."

"Candy! I want CANDY! NOW!"

Hitsugaya's hand felt carefully among the glass shards until he touched something hard. A paperweight.

Perfect.

THWACK!

The marble paperweight smacked Yachiru on the head. Hard.

"OWWW! Why did you do that, Chibi-kun?"

Hitsugaya shrugged.

"If you hit your head really hard, it might make you smarter!"

"Gimme candy!"

"NO!"

"IWANTCANDYGIMMESOMENOWCAUSEI'MCUTEANDEVERYONELOVESCUTEPEOPLE...."

The temperature in the room dropped drastically. A snowflake spiraled down from the ceiling.

"Shut. Up. Now."

Yachiru shut up.

"Now, get out."

She shook her head.

"I want candy!"

Hitsugaya was quiet.

The room temperature dropped again.

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Two minutes later, Hitsugaya heaved two ice sculptures out of his office. One abnormally large, one abnormally small.

Hitsugaya sheathed Hyourinmaru.

"And take the stinkin' teabag with you"

A brown lump landed on the smaller ice sculpture.

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Of course, ten minutes later, they were unfrozen by the fourth division rescue team.

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Yay! another chapter done! Hitsugaya might seem a little OC, sorry for that.

Read and review, as always!

-The lovely author.


	9. hydrogen

Another chapter! Whoopee!

My belated Christmas present to all my faithful reviewers.

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"K-k-k-ken-chan! I'm COLD!"

"Well, it's not MY fault that Hitsugaya-taichou had to lose it."

Suddenly, Yachiru stopped in her tracks.

"Ken-chan! It's a building! I bet it will be WARM!"

Usually, Zaraki Kenpachi would not overreact at the mention of a four-letter word.

Usually, you do not get frozen up by an enraged silver-haired teabag-hating person deprived of height. While wearing a Frankenstein costume.

Without stopping to consult the number printed on the wall of the building, he crashed through, creating a Kenpachi-shaped hole in the wall.

Then he stopped dead.

It was the 12th division.

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Kurotsuchi Mayuri, needless to say, was not very pleased when Kenpachi and Yachiru crashed his lab.

Not in the least.

"Zaraki-taichou. I trust you have a good reason for crashing my lab in the middle of the night?"

"Hey, Burnt-face! We came in here 'cause it's WARM!"

Mayuri sighed.

"If you don't get out in five minutes, I will activate my bankai and dispose of you. Oh, and on the way out, please don't touch..."

He never got to finish his sentence.

"Ooh, what's this?"

"It's helium."

"Really, Robot-san? Wow, sounds like the name of a really nice CANDY!"

"Wait, Kusajishi-san! Don't...."

She never got to finish her sentence either.

Yachiru uncorked the bottle and inhaled. Deeply.

"WHEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!! THIS IS SOOOO FUN! LALALALA.....AYE BEE SEE DEE EEE AFF GEE...."

She started singing the alphabet song in a horrible imitation of Walt Disney's (in)famous rodent in pants.

"SHADDAP!"

"KAY AL AM AN OH PEEEEE...."

"Yachiru, you are ruining my eardrums!"

"TEE YOU VEE DOUBLEYOU AXE WHY AND ZEEEEEEEEEEEE....."

"Kusajishi-san, please don't go near that experiment!"

"NOW I KNOW MY AYE BEE SEE, NEXT TIME WON'T YOU SING....Hey, what's THIS?"

"AAAAH! Kusajishi-san, don't take that burning splint!"

"Put it DOWN!!!"

Zaraki Kenpachi stared.

It had not occurred to him that Kurotsuchi Mayuri and Kurotsuchi Nemu could scream.

"OKAYEEE! I will drop this in the next room!"

Yachiru began to toddle toward a huge door on the other side of the lab.

Nemu gasped.

"Kusajishi-san! Don't go there!"

"She's high on helium, you useless assistant. She won't listen to you."

"But...Mayuri-sama!"

Nemu frantically pointed to the sign on the door Yachiru was headed for.

Mayuri looked in the direction Nemu was pointing to.

"HOLY (insert bleep here)! That's the HYDROGEN storage area! One of the storage tanks started leaking half an hour ago! Get her out! GET HER OUT!!!!!!"

Nemu started forward.

Too late.

Yachiru threw open the door and tossed the burning splint in.

BOOM.

The twelfth division became an inferno of flames. Its four occupants were ruthlessly thrown out by the explosion.

Yachiru sniffed. The effect of the helium had worn off.

"Well, Ken-chan, look on the bright side!"

"WHAT bright side?" growled Kenpachi.

"At least we're not COLD anymore!"

"Aw, shaddap."

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The fourth division rescue team, led by Yamada Hanatarou, were alerted by the flames, and arrived at the scene to take care of the second set of casualties that night.

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Yay, another one done!

Please read and review!

-The author


	10. the candy bush

Hey y'all!

Before we begin, I would just like to clear up some doubts.

1) No, helium does NOT count as a candy. But if you wish, I can have Yachiru steal some canisters of helium to put in her goodie bag.

2) I am not sure if you can go high on helium. But I am very certain that helium gives you a Mickey Mouse voice.

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"NOW where are we going?"

"To Uki-kun's place! Uki-kun ALWAYS gives candy!"

Kenpachi muttered something inaudible under his breath.

"The things I do for you, Yachiru..."

It was indeed true that Kenpachi had done a lot for Yachiru that night. To fulfill her wishes of demanding candy from everyone for some stupid human tradition dubbed 'Halloween', he had been humiliated many times over, was probably in trouble for allowing Yachiru to crash the sou-taichou's living quarters, had been frozen, and then now his hair was singed. Not to mention that he had a painful leg cramp.

Hopefully the 13th division was going to be easy.

...............................................................................................................................................................................................

"WHERE IS UKI-KUN????"

Yachiru shrieked and pointed at Sentarou and Kiyone.

'Kusajishi-san...he's...resting."

"In his room."

"He's sleeping by the koi pond, idiot woman."

"He is DEFINITELY in his room, you bearded idiot!"

"I am NOT an idiot, you-"

"I don't care WHERE he is! I wanna see him NOW!" Yachiru cut in.

"He must not be disturbed, Kusajishi-san! Ukitake-taichou needs his rest!"

Yachiru was not used to being denied.

She shrieked.

She stomped.

And then she started wrecking havoc.

She ran to the garden next to the koi pond and started 'weeding' it. Unfortunately, she couldn't really tell which plants were weeds and which ones weren't, so she ended up uprooting the entire garden.

"What are you LOOKING for?"

"Uki-kun's candy bush! He must have one! How else do you explain his never-ending candy supply? If he won't come out to give me candy, I'll take it MYSELF!"

While Kiyone and Sentarou stared at her with plant bits raining down on them (Yachiru had decided that the plant bits looked like confetti, and therefore must be treated like confetti), she stormed over to the koi pond, having confirmed that there was indeed no candy bush to be found in the garden.

She plunged her hands in...and grabbed a koi.

"If Uki-kun doesn't turn up NOW, I will strangle this koi!"

Ukitake didn't show up.

The koi got strangled, and its corpse was thrown onto the (bare) garden floor.

Yachiru then decided that strangling all the fish in the koi pond was not going to bring Ukitake out, so she abandoned the pond.

Stalking over to Kiyone and Sentarou, she demanded once again:

"WHERE IS UKI-KUN?"

"He...he's in his room, but..."

Kiyone never got a chance to finish. How could she? Yachiru knocked them both unconscious with the dead fish and a rock from the garden the moment she heard the phrase 'in his room'.

She burst through the door, leaving a Yachiru-shaped hole in the wall. (She didn't bother to open it in her fury)

Kenpachi sighed and smacked his forehead in exasperation. Another big mess, more matters to resolve tomorrow.

Eventually, Yachiru found Ukitake's room.

She yanked the door open.

"ALLLLLL RIGHT, UKI-KUN! WHERE'S THE CANDY?"

A VERY sleepy Ukitake stared at her, having just recently been roused by the ruckus in the garden.

"Kusajishi-san? What are you doing her at this time of the night?"

"CANDY, Uki-kun! Gimme candy!!!"

Ukitake rubbed his eyes.

"Candy? Oh, all right."

He groggily got up, reached underneath his desk and pulled out a huge cardboard box.

"Hitsugaya-taichou made it clear he didn't want it, so you can have it."

Yachiru's eyes lit up.

"YAYYYY! Thanks Uki-kun! BYEEEEE!"

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In the ruined garden, Yachiru opened the box with Kenpachi's help (It was bigger than her. Kenpachi reached through the window and took it out for her.)

Yachiru gazed at the huge mound of candy inside.

She was already drooling.

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Yay! Yet another chapter done!

As always, read and review!

-espeon16


	11. sake party

Heys!

Long time no update.

This is the second last chapter of Yachiru's Halloween! Thank you to all my faithful reviewers!

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"And where are we going now?"

By now, Kenpachi was feeling irate, tired of this 'Hello Ween' thing. But no, Yachiru insisted that they visit every single division before bedtime.

"We're going to visit Rebondy-kun!"

But when the dup arrived at the third division, Kira was nowhere to be seen.

Yachiru wasn't one to give up after one small failure.

"Let's go visit Sixtynine-kun then!"

Hisagi's office was deserted too.

Which left one more stop before bedtime…

The eighth division.

………………………………………………………………………………………………………

When Yachiru arrived at the eighth division, the lights were on.

Loud shrieks and guffaws emanated from the windows.

Yachiru's face lit up.

"Oh goody! They're in!"

Kenpachi groaned.

………………………………………………………………………………………………………

Kyouraku Shunsui was indeed present at the eighth division. So were Matsumoto, Kira, Hisagi, Renji (who had come in to drown his sorrows in drink), and Nanao, with her ever-present book, to thwack Shunsui should he get too drunk.

Yes, it was a drinking party.

Boy, was Yachiru in for a surprise.

………………………………………………………………………………………………………..

Yachiru knocked on the door.

No response.

She banged on it.

No response.

Of course there was no response. The ruckus inside was too loud.

So Yachiru did what she could only achieve in a fit of rage.

She ripped the door off its hinges.

She was greeted with a stunned silence.

The silence didn't last very long, though.

Shunsui hiccupped.

"Hello Yachiru-chan! Whatcha' doing?"

"Besides ripping the door out, you mean?" Nanao commented dryly under her breath.

"Why, I'm…um…" Yachiru broke off, trying to find a verb to describe what she was doing. "Halloweening, of course!"

"Aah, I see."

"Now, gimme candy!"

"Wait, Yachiru-chan, what is this 'Halloweening' thing?" asked Matsumoto.

"It's a festival where I get everyone to give me candy!"

"Hmm…sounds like fun to me."

"It IS, Booby-chan! Why don't you try it?"

Suddenly, a mischievous glint appeared in Matsumoto's eyes.

"That's it!"

"What's it, Matsumoto?"

"Well, you know that we've always wanted an excuse to harass taichou while he's doing paperwork, right?"

"Yep."

"Well, with this 'Halloweening' thing, we now have a reason to! This is gonna be so much fun!"

Obviously, Matsumoto and the others were too drunk to think of the consequences of harassing Hitsugaya while he was doing paperwork.

"Oh yeah!"

"Splendid idea, Matusmoto!"

"WAAAAAAAIT!!!! What about my CANDY????"

"Well…we don't exactly have candy-"

"-But we can give you something else!" Shunsui cut across Matsumoto.

Yachiru nodded.

"Okay!"

Shunsui handed her a huge crate, which Yachiru pushed outside for Kenpachi to carry.

"Yay! Thank youuuuu, Pinky-kun!"

………………………………………………………………………………………………………

On the path to the tenth division…

"You sure it was okay to give her that much sake?"

"Yare, yare, she'll LOVE it!"

………………………………………………………………………………………………………..

Five minutes later, an angry shout echoed throughout Sereitei.

"MATSUMOTO!"

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Another two minutes later, the fourth division medical team stumbled upon a pile of ice sculptures.

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As always, please review!

-espeon16


	12. epilogue

Last chappie!

After this, if you have anymore doubts, feel free to PM me.

Also read and review my other fanfic- **Dear Diary, I Think My Life Sucks**.

Enjoy!

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On the morning of the First of November, a screech woke the shinigami population.

Ikkaku and Yumichika had been headed down to the combat training grounds for some sparring before breakfast.

On their way there, they happened to pass by the vice-captain's room.

"ARGH!!! The fukutaichou is COMATOSE!!!!"

……………………………………………………………………………………………….

Unohana refused flatly to treat Yachiru, saying that it was "all her fault anyway", so Ikkaku and Yumichika had to bring her to Isane to treat.

……………………………………………………………………………………………….

"Is she gonna be all right?"

"Yeah, taichou might just kill us if she isn't."

"Don't worry boys, she's just suffering from indigestion."

"What did she eat?"

Isane sighed, then rattled off a list.

"One bumper packet of marshmallows, 42 kilograms of rice crackers, one box of chocolates, an expired lollipop, a packet of dog food, 10 boxes of Panadol, a jumbo packet of MnM's, a soggy teabag, a giant candy hamper, and 70 litres of sake. Oh, not to mention 7 canisters of helium."

Ikkaku and Yumichika stared. (Okay, Ikkaku stared. To Yumichika, staring is SO not dainty.)

"She ate ALL that?"

"Wow."

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That's it! The end.

Thank you to all my faithful reviewers, hope to see you again on my new fanfic.

-espeon16


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